Wednesday, June 11, 2014

This Thing Called Pain.


Something happened this past week that really threw me for a loop. It totally took me off guard, and it’s made me reevaluate who I am and who I want to be and what I want to accomplish.

It’s been one of the hardest weeks of my life.

It’s been devastating. 

And yet I know I’ll be okay.

It’s so interesting how we think life is hard until something else happens that only makes things worse. I try SO HARD to look at the events in my life and think that they’re for a greater purpose… that these events will only steer me onto a better path—a path that I’m supposed to be on, but it’s hard to keep that perspective all the time.

I think sometimes we have to let ourselves mourn and experience emotion so we don’t just shove it away, only for it to bite us in the back later. It’s okay to grieve. To allow ourselves to feel pain so it can become a part of us—so we can change and grow and better ourselves.

But it’s so awful to experience sometimes.

I laugh when I look back on my recent blog posts, because I tend to only write when I’m experiencing a strong emotion. Either excitement or motivation or discouragement or pain. But that’s the great thing about surrounding ourselves with like-minded people. We are all creative types—purposefully subjecting ourselves to this path and everything that comes with it. Whether it’s rejection or acceptance, we all experience these crazy series of extreme emotions—because we put our hearts on the line with everything that we do.

And I know that these ups and downs will never cease—so I think the key is learning to accept it and compartmentalize it. What I’ve learned through this writing process is that even though I get beat down, I bounce back quicker each time—and that, to me, is one of the greatest things in life we can learn.

I’d love to hear from you. No matter where you are on this crazy roller coaster. Up or down, catch me up! It’s been too long!


Red. Head. Out.

52 comments:

  1. I adore you. Call anytime ;-) I'm in a good place, but a weird place w/ writing right now. A weird life place, but also good... IDK. Up. Down. Sideways... Typical stuff.

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  2. Morgan, I'm so very sorry you've had a difficult week. I hate this for you. You have the most amazing attitude of anyone online, but we all have situations in life that beat us up. Maybe it's in the rawness of emotions that we most feel the need to create, at least that's how it is with me sometimes. I believe in prayer and will be lifting a few up on your behalf.

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  3. I'm thinking about you. I'm around if you need to talk. This is a good reminder though. I've been going through some things and feeling really crappy about myself and all sorts of other things but when I look at it, I need to remember things could be worse. It's important to try and look at the good things. Hope all is okay.

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  4. Hey Red.

    So funny...hadn't visited in awhile, so I came by earlier and commented on a May post, mainly just to say hi. Then I was just on FB (I've not consulted my blog reader in awhile, either) and saw a new post. Yay! Sorry it's been painful. Girl, I know the feeling. Thus, my decline in blogging, too. Writing...but, just as you, I bounce back. Swing out of it. Take an inspiring moment (when I happen to be "in the mood") and write away. Those opportunities are presenting themselves more and more.

    Please...if there is ever...EVAH anything I can do...an ear to listen, please don't hesitate. You're one of my fave peeps.

    Brunette. Out.

    M.L. Swift, Writer

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  5. I know you'll come through these difficult times a stronger, wiser, more focused version of you. Those of us who have come to know you from our little online writing community don't have to wish you the best because we've already seen that the best resides within you.

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  6. Sorry you've had such a hard time. Pain comes in so many forms, but hurts just the same. I'll keep you in my prayers.

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  7. Yep,we can whine and complain about how hard things are with work and this or that but have NO idea until it actually happens, then we get a whole new perception on things. And I'd rather be bit in the arse than the back, back issues are no fun lmao

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  8. You have such an amazing attitude, Morgan. I'm so sorry something terrible happened to you and that you're having to deal with this. I hope you feel better soon and that you'll continue to keep your chin up! Thanks for sharing!

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  9. I'm sorry, Morgan! Whatever happened.
    You have a great attitude though. No matter what happens, you will land on your feet. Running.

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  10. Such a hard thing, Morg. Hugs coming your way. And prayers. And gluten-free Oreos. :-p You have the best attitude and I'm amazed at your ability to write this blog post in the midst of your turmoil and strife-ness. <3

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  11. I'm always grateful for the hard things in hindsight, but it's SO HARD when you're in the middle of it. Big hugs to you, my friend.

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  12. With each major disappointment I've experienced along the way, I've needed to give myself a 24-48 hour mourning period. After that, I find I can get back up and keep going. But that 1-2 days of grieving is HARD. It's full of self-doubt and self-loathing and all the other bad self stuff.
    I have such faith in you, Morgan. You are magical. Sending giant squeezes your way.

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  13. I hope everything is okay. I know that in the long run, everything trends towards okay, but in the mean time, I hate that you have to go through a tough time. Me and writing aren't entirely on friendly terms, but I'd say we're still functional, just not in the joyous, newly wedded bliss that I would prefer. It's the fourth round and it turns out there's a lot of moxy on both sides. I was (and always do) hoping for a KO in the first round, but I guess life is more interesting when everything is close.
    Take care of yourself. You are amazing, and your writing is amazing too.

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  14. Think how difficult our job would be if we didn't experience all these emotions (as writers). Hope things are better now, Morgan. *hugs*

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  15. You, Morgan, are a constant inspiration. It takes a person of strong character to charge ahead in the face of adversity and disappointment. I do hope your perseverance pays off and your next week is one of triumph that far exceeds the devastation of your past week.

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  16. Oh, Morg,

    I figured something was up when I hadn't heard back from you. If ANYONE can relate to this it's me... I am the proverbial bouncing ball. I've LOST COUNT how many times I've had to bounce back up for a debilitating fall. Pain does make us stronger. It amazes me HOW MUCH the human body can take physically and emotionally.

    You ARE one of the strongest women that I know, yet you always have an electric smile on your face and a kind and caring heart. You work endlessly for your goals, yet you have time for your family and friends. You ARE a modern day WONDER WOMAN. NEVER forget how special you are and the joy you bring to the those of us who are rewarded with your friendship.

    Take care, Morg. Big brother is always here if you need to talk....

    Sending cyber hugs.....

    M

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  17. I don't stop by often enough, Morgan, but when I do, I just want to hug you! I've had the interesting mix of way up and way down just in the last week - way up because my second novel is out and I have a book signing tomorrow, but way down because I had to spend a day at urgent care getting tests done and found out I have a new health issue that is sucking the energy out of me at the moment. Tomorrow, I'm napping until the book signing and my family plans to come along like a personal health team. :) Anyway, take care.

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  18. I'm sorry you've gone through something so hard. Life can be a real bitch sometimes, can't it?

    I'm sending you all the virtual caring vibes I can! Big hugs to you.

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  19. Sorry to hear that you've had an extremely challenging week, Morgan.
    Take care of yourself.
    Hugs to you...

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  20. *hugs* Not sure what happened, but feel free to email if you need to! <3

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  21. Hi Morgan - gosh - life can deal us a blow that's difficult to swallow ... however it will fade and as you so rightly say ... you bounce -and by the sound of it you've bounced ... I just hope you can get to the point where life will leave you alone for a while to do your thing ... many thoughts and big hugs - and look after yourself ... Hilary

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  22. Morgan I have noticed this as well, that you tend to write blog posts when experiencing a really strong emotion. But i think that's a good thing. Writing is a good cathartic release. And I totally agree that we HAVE to let ourselves mourn, otherwise we're just temporarily pushing emotions aside. My thoughts are with you, my friend.

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  23. I'm sorry it's been a painful week. I'm an emotionally charge person, too, and on a constant roller coaster ride. It's those highs and lows where we find inspiration though.

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  24. Morgan! You've had enough bad stuff happen to you, it's not fair that more is piling on top. :( I'm so sorry for whatever it is that's been going on. I do still want to see you sometime (when you're feeling up to it). And I really really hope the bad stuff is over soon and that good stuff starts taking it's place. You're one of the most deserving people I know - and one of the best, nicest people on the planet. *hugs*

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  25. Morgan, you're one of those people who has a shining light around them. Even when you're down, you're a bright light. You may not think that right now, but it's true. Like Alex said, you're going to land on your feet...running.

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  26. Even though you went through something horribly painful it sounds to me like you are already emerging on the other side of it. That is fantastic. We all get painful things thrown at us... it's how we handle them that counts!

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  27. Morgan.
    Close your eyes. (ok, well after you read the rest of this comment, :P)
    Wrap your arms around yourself.
    Squeeze.
    That's me giving you a big hug from afar, hate to hear any of my blogging buddies go through difficult times.
    Lots of <3 to you and your family.

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  28. Ditto to what Elise said!!

    Writing helps with all kinds of pain. It's the best therapy, aside from hugs of course!

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  29. Hi Morgan,

    Relax, along with all those other amazing folks who are here, I'm here in my own discreet way.

    Dear lady, we both know that verbalising our valid feelings, our concerns, our hopes, our dreams, is positive therapy. Sense that world of realistic positive anticipation. No matter the adversity, your determination to have the environment you so desire, can be the reality you wish. You are, we are, all in this together. Together, dear lady, with hope, we cope.

    Hugs from across the water.

    Your friend,

    Gary x

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  30. I hope everything turns out okay (big hug). Since I've been gone so long I have to tell you how much I love your blog and the book you're working on sounds amazing! You've come a long way and with your talent you will go far :)

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  31. The ups aren't nearly as special without the downs. Grieve through this moment, learn from it however you can, and use it to truly appreciate the next great moment, which you will have, because greatness and true happiness always comes back around.

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  32. The downs make us appreciate the ups, but the downs are still hard. Sorry you're going through a rough time. :(

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  33. Morgan, I don't know what happened, but I'm sorry that it's been difficult. If you are talking about physical, bodily pain I'm so sorry you have to go through that. Hang in there. Maintaining a positive attitude is necessary, but it's okay to take time to grieve. It's necessary for our healing. It's okay to be sad and it's okay to admit that it hurts. In fact, it kind of helps if you admit that. The more you fight it the harder it is to move on. As weird as this is, you get used to it. I have a form of arthritis and am in constant pain, have been for years now. You adjust, you learn to live with what you can do. It is awful to experience, but it is not the end of life. I don't know if what you're going through a temporary thing, or a permanent, chronic thing but either way I hope for the best for you. Please email if you ever want to talk. Sometimes talking with someone who has been through similar things helps. Even if it's only because they'll understand when you can't maintain the happy facade, and you can't all the time. Take time to mourn, ache, cry, and accept what you're feeling. Wish I could help...

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  34. Sorry things are sucky right now. But I do know what you mean about thing seeming bad until something newer and badder strikes.

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  35. I hope you find a way to rebound sooner than later. Your line about how we can use pain to become better reminds me of one of the lines in Hermann Hesse's Siddhartha, "I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value." It's actually one of the quotes at the start of Part II of my upcoming release, the other being "Perfer et obdura; doler hib tibi proderit olim (Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you)," from Ovid's Amorum.

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  36. Well, I'm querying. So I'm up, down, standing on my head....

    Hugs to you, you strong redhead! Come to think of it, every redhead I know is strong. Hmm. :)

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  37. I'm sorry you had a bad week. Hopefully things will look better next week. As a writer you already know about roller coaster rides, but that doesn't make it hurt any less when the downs happen. Here's to looking forward to next week.

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  38. I hope everything smooths out! Keep chugging forward!

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  39. I hope that this week turns out better! You have such an amazing attitude :)

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  40. Well I hope you get your Wonder Woman costume back soon because when the bullets fly, I know Morgan is the only one that can deflect them with your magic bracelets.

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  41. Oh, Morgan. I'm sorry you've been hurting. *hugs*

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  42. I'm so sorry to hear that you've been hurting. I'd give a great big spiel about how everything happens for a reason, and sadness only serves to help us truly appreciate happiness, but I won't. Life is hard, and it can really throw us around sometimes, but as you say--it will all be okay in the end. Best thoughts going out to you, as needed. :)

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  43. Our prayers are with you. May the sun shine on you today (and a pint of Guinness doesn't hurt either). ;)
    It's in the bottom of tha abyss that we find ourselves. Here's to you:)

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  44. Bouncing back is what matters. Wherever you keep the tigger juice, or gummy berry juice, let me know.

    Jokes aside, you are amazing and you'll weather this. :)

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  45. I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I agree with you that grieving is better than shoving it away. I hope that your sorrow will soon be replaced by great joy.

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  46. You inspire a lot of us. Hang in there Shamy.

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  47. My heart hurts for you. When I blogged, I did the same, writing when emotions were powerful. And that's why I'm hurting for you. Because despite your brilliant and beautiful attitude, if you're like me, there's a welter of pain behind your words. I pray for you to have breath when you don't think you can breathe anymore, peace when it seems impossible, and light--even if it's in the distance. God bless you. Morgan.

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  48. Hey Morg,

    Like I just said, you ever need to vent, I'll grab a vente.

    #Friends

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  49. Yes, strong Emotion does often become the catalyst for Writing and Creativity. The Land of Blog has been a Wonderful Community to Share in the Triumphs and Trials of Life. I agree that feeling our Pain and sitting with it a while rather than stuffing it down is helpful in moving forward, acknowledging it and letting it go. I Hope this next week will be a better one for you. Positive and Healing Energies being sent your way from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

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  50. Well, somehow I missed this when it posted, but blogger has been... well, like, today it will only let me see one post at a time. Frustrating is a mild word.
    Writing in the midst of emotion can be a good thing. That's when I want to write poetry. Not good poetry, mind you, but that's what it makes me want to do.
    If you need to talk or anything, my email is always open.

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  51. Hugs Morgan! You know I'm only an inbox away if you ever need anything. <3

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  52. I hope things are looking a little brighter for you now. I think you have a very healthy relationship with your emotions and allow yourself space for them. Much better than bottling it all up. Big hugs.

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