Monday, February 24, 2014

How Do You Deal With Adversity?

We’re all there. At one point or another, we’ve all dealt with something that has put life on pause and sent us spiraling on a wild ride. Whether it’s death, sickness, rejection, a move, or other life changes, we all go through it.

But do people really move past hardship? Or does it just become a part of who we are?

I know for me, I won’t ever get over seeing my two-week-old baby die in front of my eyes. It’s nothing I can ever erase. I still live the experience over and over again sometimes in my mind. I know that I won’t ever get over watching my little son battle cancer. It’s indescribable. This past year, my 2 year old fell twenty feet. The panic is something that is etched forever in my soul. And a couple months ago, when I found out I had an infected growth in my head that would have killed me if it hadn’t been discovered---I won’t ever forget the pain and sickness that came with that period of my life.

Sounds dramatic, right? But we’re ALL facing these things. Whether it’s through friends or family, or personally. I think of Jeff and his wife, Roland and his latest surgery, Michael and the accident he had this year—and the list goes on. There is so much strength and perseverance shown by amazing individuals.

But how do people really deal with hardship? Are you someone who reacts well in a crisis and doesn’t have a breakdown until later? Or do you breakdown during a crisis and are fine later? Does time ever heal all wounds?

For me, I don’t think so. I think that every trial we survive and overcome becomes a part of who we are. It’s ingrained in our make-up. It changes who we are. Whether it cripples us or strengthens us.

So I don’t think we ever really “get over” adversity, I just think we learn to adapt. We become stronger. We learn to accept whatever we’ve faced and how to turn it into good. Even when the memories can be debilitating at times. We face fears head on… because we have to.

Isn’t that why we as writers, keep pushing? Sometimes there isn’t anything more crippling than a rejection, but we either keep trying or quit. Just like we choose to face a problem, or let it eat us alive.

Hardship is a big reason why I write. I started writing to release all the emotions that were built up inside of me. And ironically enough, what once was an escape is now my hardship. (LOL! I didn’t know that when I first put pen to paper that it would become such an emotional journey)

But I also believe in miracles.

All of my trials have turned out for the better. My baby revived after 60 seconds of CPR. My boy is now cancer free. My 2 year old walked away without a broken bone. And I will be more than fine health-wise. So I choose to believe that if we keep pushing, that we will see the light. That we will have that moment when we can look back and see why everything happened the way it needed to happen.

Red. Head. Out.


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