Monday, January 13, 2014

Another Honesty Post...



My quest for balance this year is going well! I’ve been rocking my WIP, writing at every opportunity I can. Things are really starting to click with my current story and it feels SO GOOD.



I also feel like I’m keeping up with all other key aspects of my life. Usually when I get immersed in a project, I let the dishes or the laundry go, but I haven’t this time. I’m astounded it’s possible to actually balance writing and household work. Same goes with family time, kids’ homework, ballet, kid activities, and all the other things in life that are important.



But there’s one thing I’m really struggling to find balance with—and for the most part, it’s completely out of my control—which makes it more difficult. I’ve been trying so hard to create good relationships with people who I haven’t connected with over the past few years. Family, friends. And it hurts when these people don’t want it. When it’s apparent that they don’t want anything to do with me.


And I get that all I can do is be the best person I can be. I can be nice and if it isn’t reciprocated, then it’s out of my hands. At least I’ve tried. But it still baffles me how some people can just be mean. I want to believe the good in everyone. I want to believe that people aren’t out specifically out to get me. Because I choose to believe that people aren’t inherently evil.  


It just makes me sad that there might not ever be a relationship between people who should have a relationship. We only get to live once, which makes it vital that we try and make the right decisions. Do you ever feel like time after time you’re giving a person the benefit of the doubt only to be disappointed?


The thing is, while I write this, I know I’ll keep trying. I’ll keep smiling and hope that one day people come around. I know that happiness doesn’t come from others. We choose to be happy, regardless of our circumstances. And I can do that.


But if you’d like to share, I’d love to know if any of you have advice. If you’ve had an estranged relationship that you were able to turn into something good. If there are any tactics you’ve used that have healed wounds between people. I suppose all circumstances are different, but I really do believe with the right communication and with unconditional love, that someday things can be made right.


Red. Head. Out. :)

74 comments:

  1. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12: 14 and 18. (Those were passages from our service today.)
    We can only try, Morgan. And there are those who will not respond or who will respond negatively. Just keep the joyous spirit. We don't have to exert effort where it's not working, but we can remain positive and friendly, and maybe someday they will come around.

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  2. I don't believe people are evil, either.

    Communication is important in any relationship. Sometimes people just don't want to talk and make it better though. They hold a grudge and won't let go. At that point, you can't help those people, and you shouldn't feel bad about it.

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  3. Oh no, it sounds like someone hasn't been too nice to my Morgan! I hope it works out for you, if that's the best. If it isn't meant to be, then I hope it doesn't cut too deep. Good job on keeping everything balanced! I'm still working on that…

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  4. Oh Morgan, sorry to hear that you've been experiencing some strained relationships.
    Just be your normal happy and chirpy self, that's all you can be.
    But it's good to know that you're off to a good start for the new year, by finding the balance between family/housework/writing...
    I hope it all works out for you...
    Stay positive.
    Writer In Transit

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  5. It's nice that your WiP is rocking even though you have other issues going on. I really believe in that idea that we only get the amount of challenge we can handle at one time. Relationships definitely can take work, and it sounds like you are holding up your end. Just keep smiling and be patient. I've seen interesting circumstances bring people together. Unfortunately, it is usually a death or other tragedy that helps people realize what is really important. Hopefully, it won't take something like that for your friend to come around, but there is probably nothing more you can do except keep showing up with a smile.

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  6. Geesh, I'm the wrong person to be giving any advice on this, but kill em with kindness. Nothing can melt a heart like acts of kindness. :) it's worked for me before.

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  7. Good post. People throw away important relationships all the time and for the wrong reasons. You're right. It's sad. I am thrilled to know you! Just sayin'. *hugs*

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  8. This really hits home for me. I've lost contact with a lot of my old friends since I moved away. I tried, a lot, but it wasn't reciprocated, as if the distance made it impossible. And well, that just hurts. I'd say, keep doing what you're doing, writing, family, and focus on the friends that do appreciate you. Hugs!

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  9. I have a strained relationship with my oldest brother. so I can understand trying to have good communication.
    When we talk I try to remain positive, or I just let things go for the sake of the relationship.

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  10. The only thing I know of is communication. Maybe Christmas cards? It can be really hard when its a family member, but I do know that sometimes, time helps. Good luck and take care, Morgan!

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  11. I'm lucky to have a family where nobody is estranged, at least not from me. On my dad's side there is sometimes drama between his siblings. Generally he's not involved, but the other siblings often have falling outs (or is it fallings out? :)) with each other. My mum's side never really has that kind of thing, and they think it's strange when other families do, because they can't imagine it.

    As for friends, I haven't really had huge dramas there, but I do witness my friends having such dramas. Usually because one of them is off her head on drugs and not in her right mind (sad to say).

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  12. The cat just has fun, they don't like me, screw them and away I run lol but there are some I would much much rather keep estranged and I will, no way in hell I want them near me, rather clean up cat pee hahaha

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  13. I had a few of these recently and I learned one thing. You never know what some people are dealing with in their own lives which could cause some of the backlash you're receiving. Family is family so there's not much you can do there. As far as friends, I've had good ones recently come and go in my life. For those that go, I do my best not to take it personally. A good friend told me once, "Leave it be. You never know when or if a friend will reenter your life sometime down the road." She was right. People come and go and that's just life. :)

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  14. Congrats on learning to balance real world responsibilities with important personal time. It's great for you as a human being and to show your children that it's do-able. About the friends and family, I know EXACTLY what you mean. I sent out 8 New Year's ecards to family and friends from the past (which I do every year). Only 2 responded. It's so annoying, but I know next year, I'll do the same thing. I wish them well even if they don't feel the same.

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  15. Morgan, I can't imagine someone not flocking to you. Your positive attitude and generous spirit are infectious. It's tough to go through something like that, but I hope you'll focus on all the blessings in your life and try not to worry about those that build barriers.

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  16. I agree with Julie above.

    I say you keep trying to talk to them, but give it periods of rest. That way, the other person won't feel superior to you (when by my opinion, they are acting the opposite). They'll come around in the end because one day, they'll realize how nice you've constantly been to them no matter what they did to you. Your niceness will be contagious - as it is in the writing community! - but don't ever take it personally. Let them know that your door is open; it's up to them to walk in. I like what Mina said above as well :)

    By the way, I just realized how beautiful your blog is. It's so professional and sleek and easy to read...did you use a standard template or did you edit it a lot by yourself? Because it's fantastic!!!

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    1. Ohhh... thanks, SC :) And Tiana Smith did my blog! She commented up above me and I think her business button is on my sidebar--called The Blog Decorator--she's amazing! :)

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  17. First of all, major YAY on the balance thing! I'm super happy to hear it's working for you. (There's hope I may someday get it, lol!) Second, I can't even imagine anyone not reciprocating your friendliness. You're awesome. Kind of boggles my mind! I wish I had some advice, or words of wisdom. I'm sure things will work out!

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  18. Sounds like, when if comes to those relationships, that you've done the best that you can. I've found, as I've gotten older, that if you have one or two really true friends in your life, people who stick by you through thick and thin, then you are blessed. As for family... I'm really lucky to be very close to sister, but I realize many families are not like that. You've done what you can. Leave the light on, the door open, but get on with your life.

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  19. My bestest friend since the beginning of YW was like an appendage we were so close. Everyday. Fast forward to today we don't talk. I try and try over the years but I can only put in so much effort till I'm completely burnt out. And I am. I miss her immensely. I do. She's even promised to be more involved but it's yet to happen. So what do you do? You be there when they need you and occasionally send a hello. When they need you, be there. Don't hold that grudge. Jesus wouldn't. Neither should we. Think of this from a more religious standpoint...how many do what is happening to you but to the Godhead. Do the members of the Godhead turn their backs and dismiss them? Nope. They are always there for those that turn their backs on them or refuse them. Oh girl. If you need to talk this out promise to hit me up because these things can take all your energy. Big prosthetic legging wearing leg hugs babe. <3 <3

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  20. To keep trying is all you can do. Keep those doors open.

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  21. You sound so much like me, in the sense that you want to see the good in everyone. However, if someone makes it clear they aren't interested in having me around, I don't have it in me to keep trying. Why keep getting kicked in the gut when I can make more time for the people who DO want me around? If they come around, great. If not... well, at least I know I tried.

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  22. Hi Morgan - the most important are your family and close family and friends .. those who related - it's good to try and keep up and surprisingly people come round sometimes .. don't fret over it .. but just keep that once in a while contact .. letting them know how things are going and checking in on them .. we can only do so much.

    So pleased your own life is ticking along very happily ... don't sweat the other stuff .. it'll happen or not ... but keep the doors open ...

    Have a great year - cheers Hilary

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  23. As cliche as it sounds, all you can do is try, and you have - so that's what ultimately matters. The rest is up to them :)

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  24. Morgan, first, so impressed you are finding balance. I struggle to do that well.

    As for relationships, I have two fatal flaws: 1) I take things so to heart. Rejections-- real or perceived-- or unkindness just strike me to the heart. From there I spiral into this over-analyzing of the person, myself, the relationship, what I may have done wrong. It gets too a point I don't even think rationally about it-- I just emotionalize the thing. 2) I think over the years I have a tendency to get into "friendships" with people I have to pursue, (rather than being mutual). I'm not sure why I do this, but have a few suspicions that go back to the typical childhood stuff. It's a pattern I've recently had an "ah ha" moment about so haven't quite figured out how to fix that yet LOL. Life. I'm going to be 50 this year and am still figuring this stuff out.

    You're such a kind, generous person with your heart.

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  25. It's definitely hard when folks go their separate ways, and often times there's nothing we can really do about that. The energy you put forward shows, and it could be that people are too busy to see it. I can see it. And as friends go, you can't get rid of me even if you wanted to. :)

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  26. Balance is a huge goal for me this year too--seems like it's an on-going thing for me, actually lol. One day I think I've got it, then I slack off and have to start over.

    And I'm SO with you on the friends/relationships thing. It's so hard to keep up with everyone, everyone's lives are so busy. And it's one of those things that can't be forced, like you said, all we can do is try! Efforts like that always pay off in one way or another!! :D

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  27. I lost contact with one of my older friends from Creative Writing Club my senior year of high school, after how we'd kept in touch during such a difficult period in my life and how much her encouragement and letters had meant to me. (She was one of the university seniors co-running the club during my sophomore year.) I tried several times to get back in touch with her, but never heard back. Then I reconnected with her on Facebook a few years ago, and no longer had any hard feelings or took it personally that she'd gotten too busy to keep in touch.

    I had a similar story with my dearest oldest friend, whom I also got back in touch with after a period of feeling she too had decided not to correspond with me anymore. She'd just had a lot going on during her senior year and the rest of junior year, and felt so badly she hadn't been writing back. We've been friends for 28 years now, and it's obvious that was just one unrepresentative period. Given that she was my friend for genuine reasons when no one else would interact with me in lower elementary school, it's pretty clear this is a true blue friend.

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  28. A ballerina who struggles with balance? Eeep. If you can't do it, I know I can't. But seriously, Morgan, who wouldn't want to connect with you. You are charming, sweet, smart, AMAZING, and you like Breaking Bad. That right there gets you a gold star :)

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  29. I'm glad you're finding some balance in your life, Morgan.

    And we can only be who we are. You are a sweet and wonderful person, and if they can't see that, then it's their loss.

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  31. Do you know why they're being mean to you, or is it seemingly for no reason?

    As conceited as this sounds, the only family/friends who no longer want anything to do with me are the ones who are jealous of me. And that's not to say that I'm anything great. I quit my job to pursue my dreams of writing full time, and while I'm not making a lot of money and don't have a lot of the luxuries that I once had, some old friends are jealous of my happiness. Which, frankly, is stupid because I'm not making them stay at a job that makes them unhappy and I'm not stopping them from pursuing their dreams; they are.

    But sometimes people will just find an excuse to not like you, even if you've done nothing to them. And while it's always good to take the high road and continue to be nice to them, don't be afraid to remove them from your life (temporarily) if they're being toxic. The last thing you need is them dragging you down with them.

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  32. Awesome about the balance! That's huge!

    Your post hits close to home. I've recently ended a long childhood friendship cuz of something similar. It's a sad story, and in her mind, I'm the bad guy and mean person. But I couldn't take the half-ass friendship anymore, nor the phoniness that came along with it. There's so much more to it, but after years of a one-ended friendship and much disappointment, I severed the tie and took the hit as the bad guy for doing so. With no hatred or grudges, I decided my life was better without this relationship and I truly believe it was the right thing to do.
    So I don't have advice per se, since every friendship is different, but what I learned is that we have to do what's right for ourselves, and there comes a time when lines have to be drawn, and relationships let go. And it's ok. If these people don't want you in their lives, then let it go, don't worry about it. Find people who do want to put effort into a friendship--cuz they are out there. And the others aren't really worth your time.

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  33. Let's try this again and this time I will try to proof read it . Lol. My advice would be to serve without expectation of behavior being reciprocated . Don't keep score. By eliminating the expecation, there is no room for disappointment. Take joy and be confident in your service. Love you.

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  34. You just have to take each day at a time and keep a smile on your face (and take out any negativity that may linger from people or problems). Lovely post.

    -Barb

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  35. I'm so sorry!! It sounds like this relationship is really important to you. I think you just have to keep in mind that you can only control your behavior (sounds like you're already doing that) and maybe, in the meantime, make sure you're taking care of yourself by also nurturing relationships where

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  36. It's really hard when you feel like you COULD make every relationship special and meaningful if you only had the time. Because then, you start to question how you've spent your time. I hate losing touch with some of my online writing friends (and real life ones), because I always believe I've failed them somehow. (I see the ones I have managed to hang onto, and how important they are to me.)

    The reality is this: We cannot be everything to everyone all the time. Even if we really, really, really would love to. It's part of the reason why I try to keep an absolutely open book relationship with my best friends. You haven't called me in 5 years? I don't care. You called me today, so today we're still friends. You haven't commented on my blog in 6 months? I don't care, you commented today so I'll assume you're still around and care about what I've got going on. Because I assume those things even when you aren't around. :)

    It does stink when you know you've angered or hurt them by not being involved, but if they're one of those relationships that "stick", it shouldn't really matter. So we should probably just respect the way they feel, and embrace our ability to move on as well.

    All of that is a really long way of saying: It doesn't make you a bad person, just a person. :)

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  37. Wow...blogger interuptus!! Anyway, I was going to say nurture the relationships that make you feel whole. :)

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  38. Hey Red,

    Goodness...I could've written this post. I'm going through similar...finding a balance in home life and writing. And trying so hard to stay connected with people. The year has been a bitch, for lack of a better word—actually, that's the perfect word—and I pulled back and stayed back. But, we can only be our (nice) selves, now can't we?

    I have no real answers, other than, for me, there are many circles of "knowing Mike." The outer circles have the most people, the inner circle, only a handful. Those are the lifelong ones, people I grew up with or have known for many years/decades, where it doesn't matter if you go a few months without talking.

    The circle outside of that is trusted friends that are usually close (regionally speaking), with whom I do things regularly. After that, acquaintances with whom I do things regularly (church, choir, groups, etc.), then it gets more spread out (and less "involved" on my part).

    We can only "know" (and not in the Biblical sense) a certain amount of people well, but we can be nice and compassionate to everyone. I don't think you have a problem there. :)

    M.L. Swift, Writer

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  39. Good for you for choosing happy. The only advice I have to give is to never give up. Like, ever. I've seen people turn around and open their hearts when so many had already signed them off as a hopeless case. I know it's hard, yes. But hopeless, never.

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  40. I can relate about the difficult connections thing. The first priority you have is to your children and husband. You can extend the olive branch, but other people will decide if they reciprocate or not, and that's the unfortunate truth. In the end you need to do what is best for your happiness, independent of what they do. That's my $0.02.

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  41. Been there. Today, actually. I guess for me I've decided I can't let their opinion of me change what I know is true about myself. And seeing how most of these types of family issues have to do with their own insecurities and issues, I try not to take it upon myself and make it about me. But I wish it could be different!

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  42. Been there. Today, actually. I guess for me I've decided I can't let their opinion of me change what I know is true about myself. And seeing how most of these types of family issues have to do with their own insecurities and issues, I try not to take it upon myself and make it about me. But I wish it could be different!

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  43. I'm glad the year's starting off well for you, generally, Morgan. My relationship with several family members is sporadic and fragile at best. I know how hurtful that can be. Sometimes time helps. Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes we do ourselves a favor by giving up.

    Hugs.
    xoRobyn

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  44. Hi Morgan,

    I've just finished reading your story to my human. Generally speaking, you have a healthy balance in your life. You are being realistic with your writing goals. That bodes well for the future.

    In so far as relationships go, my human, like you, does his best to be there for others. You don't always receive back in kind. However, you know you've done your best. Sometimes we have to accept that we cannot change the perspective of others. My human's father may or may not be alive. The sad thing is that he doesn't even care. Gary has accepted that there will be people in our lives we can never really reach, no matter what we do.

    Be proud of your kind intentions, Morgan.

    Pawsitive wishes,

    Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!

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  45. A huge pat on the back to you for maintaining balance so far this year! I struggle with that constantly. There just aren't enough hours in the day, and I could spend every one of them writing!

    I wish I could offer advice on your relationship dilemma, but since I've been facing a similar issue for many years, I'm afraid I don't have any solid answers. The only real thing I can say is do your best to not let it change you or drag you down. Speaking from personal experience, it's easy to let this kind of broken relationship become an unhealthy source of stress. I guess sometimes we just have to accept that certain people are satisfied with being abrasive and unkind--as hard as that is--and realize we can only do so much. Whoever this person is, boy are they missing out! Keep your chin up! :)

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  46. I agree with Cherie, if they don't want your friendship, it is only their loss. All you can do is be your sweet self and if that's not enough for them too bad. Hang in there, we want your friendship!! :)

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  47. You're doing better than I am. I'm the type that (probably, mostly, because I was teased so mercilessly as a child) doesn't want to be with people who don't want to be with me. I have no trouble walking away.

    Fwiw, I think you're doing the right thing... being nice and letting them make the next move. You might pull the person aside, if you feel they'd be at all receptive, and say something like you noticed [X] behavior and wanted to be sure you hadn't done anything to hurt them and apologize if you had. Sometimes people will open up with that, and sometimes you'll find out their behavior had nothing to do with you in the first place.

    Good luck.

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  48. I have a sibling who has estranged himself from most of my family. I haven't seen or spoken to him in almost 4 years now. Weddings, funerals, tragedies, births, love, invitations, and all the prayers in the world haven't kept him from despising us, or made him want to be around us. It's so hard when you know a good relationship could be possible if they only let you in, but people always have their agency and we may never know why they choose to turn away from an opportunity to be loved. I have faith that in the end, all relationships will have to be resolved before the Lord and only then will we have peace and a true understanding of our lost loved ones.

    If it makes you feel any better, I am privileged to know you, Morgan! You are amazing and I wish I knew you even better! Your sister is the first true friend I have had in decades. Sometimes all the hurtful relationships give way to a beautiful friendship you didn't expect, and it begins to heal the hurt. I'm so proud of you and all you've accomplished, and the balance you've been able to find this year. Way to go!

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  49. I understand that estrangement hurts but sometimes it's for the best. I have someone related to me in my life who I'm considered distancing myself away from because they've been mostly hurtful and disappointing. Sadly this is someone who you'd think would have your back but often that isn't the case unless it's a case of convenience. While it is the nice thing to keep trying sometimes you need to distance yourself to save yourself from being dragged down by someone filled with negativity. Always remember to be kind to yourself as well as others.

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  50. Hmm... maybe they're at a point where they feel unworthy of a decent relationship. Or maybe they're frustrated that you're in good place, and they're not. Just leave that door open and move on. When they're ready, they'll come through it. :)

    *Hugs*

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  51. Aloha you :)

    Ah yes....relationships and how they can be negatively affected by time, talent and/or treasures...

    I don't have any advice, Morg, but have found that, as I age like good beef jerky (is that an oxymoron?), I am naturally caring less about old acquaintances and focusing on building the existing foundations of friendship.

    And this time, as I approach 45, I am doing it without bitterness (unlike in my 20s, early 30s, which was a whole different ballgame.) I *feel* like if someone doesn't keep up the relationship (online or in real life) it wasn't meant to be - and I no longer fret about it (because the washing is piling up, the kids are piling on each other and I'm about to drive into a piling if I don't watch where I'm going :)

    As Yoda would say, "Instinct you have. Follow the heart (and gut.) Knows best it does."

    Loving these honesty posts, by the way, and look at you go as you rock the WIP and whip the household chores into shape :)

    PS... no worries of you not hearing from me every now and again... we are blogger buddies... we be "bluddies" :)

    Bald. Head. Shiny.

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    1. "Bald. Head. Shiny." Har har har. I love it.

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  52. I used to try to smooth things over, even being nice to mean people when they didn't deserve my kindness, and I'd get hurt even more. I play it cool now. If someone doesn't want me, I move on to the people who do.

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  53. I agree with Medeia about "playing it cool," though it's easier said than done. Recently, I've been trying to make amends with a relative who has mistreated me for many years. For the most part, I just grin and bare it for the sake of my family. Sadly, I have to be very careful when I'm around her, because I don't think I'll ever be able to trust her. You're a good person Morgan, and I hope that your situation improves.

    Julie

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  54. Oh Morgan, haven't we all had those situations that just suck. I've found that just letting go of whatever issue is causing the awkwardness/hassle/pain-in-the-butt and almost treat the person/people like you've just met them, works wonders. People change over time so looking at them with fresh eyes might surprise you. (Plus it clears all that cluttery mish mash mess that causes procrastination in the brain. ;) )

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  55. When I hit my thirties, something happened. I no longer gave a dang about people who had a problem with me. Sure, I like to be liked and I NEVER want to be a meanie. I try to be nice to all people. I am committed to never being a gossip or a back stabber. But no matter what, there are still people who have a problem with me. I've had people dislike me because I am happy (no lie!). And I no longer care. I figure that's their issue, not mine.

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  56. I'm working on an estranged relationship right now and so far, nothing good has come except that I've determined to keep being my best self and to not close myself off out of fear. Best of luck on your journey.

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  57. You can't make other people's choices for them. But you can control your own. Even if they don't respond, you are a better person for trying. They may not want it now, they may not want it ever, but if you're consistently holding your hand out to them, when they're ready to do their part, you'll be there.

    Awesome on the balance, enjoy it while it lasts!

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  58. Totally feel your pain, Morgan! You need a hug, and I do too. We're in the same boat, so I'll tell you what I've decided to do: I'm praying for them, and praying God will help me to not sweat the stuff I can't change. It hurts more than I can express, but like you, I've done my part, so I gotta move on. Way to go on slipping back into your writer groove! 2014 is sure to be a smashing year! :)

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  59. Relationships are the hardest thing. And broken ones, severed ones, the ones with the frayed edges where you feel like you should still fit somewhere but don't? Those ones hurt. Those are the ones that haunt you. You do your best and love your best and keep breathing. Hope for you, friend. *hugs*

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  60. I applaud you for your efforts. It's tough to reach out to others and they don't reciprocate. Moving forward and forging new friendships is probably the answer.

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  61. Wonderful post. You are amazing. There are so few people that really put any effort into relationships these days. I always try my best to give people the benefit of the doubt.

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  62. Reach out. If it doesn't work, move on but leave that door open. After a while, go back and reach out again. Eventually it will be the right time for that person.

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  63. That is hard, I had something like that happen to me once. And there isn't an easy way to fix it, especially if the other person doesn't want to. When it happened to me I finally had to give up because the other refused to do anything to make it better.
    I hope it goes better for you It is good to keep trying.

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  64. Morgan- I hope you will be open to my suggestion-it's prayer. I'd like to share my experience with lost relationships. In my husband's family, there was a major breach and break down of communication. It drove me crazy. I have a huge, close family who talk to each other every single day. (Sometimes 2-3 times a day.) I prayed for peace. I prayed for three years! And didn't think there would EVER be reconciliation where estrangement had set in. My husband is stubborn, especially when he thinks he's right. But I never gave up. And with lots of prayer and patience, one day as if out of nowhere, a willingness to forgive sprung up inside my hubs! Praise God he and his family members that I thought would NEVER reconcile, are now enjoying a close relationship. My suggestion to you, if you really want those relationships back in your life, pray for them.

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  65. So sorry to hear about the difficulties in those relationships. I do understand how that is sometimes. I have a sister who used to always emotionally and verbally attack me, for no reason. No matter how hard I'd try to walk on egg shells around her, she'd find something wrong. After a while, I stopped trying to please her and took up for myself... respectfully, but I didn't take her abuse anymore.

    Then something happened where she stopped being abusive. Even so, she never calls or reaches out to me. Last year she regifted a Christmas gift to me that I'd given her the year before, in the same bag no less! I try not to let it bother me, and just pray for her. She's got lots of emotional and lifestyle issues that only prayer can help.

    I wish your relationships get easier for you, even if they never turn out exactly as you'd like.

    Congratulations on getting more balance in your life! That should be a goal of mine this year. ;) Writer’s Mark

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  66. And there is the opposite difficulty too. I've had a cherished friend for several years that I can only take in small doses. She's fun and humorous and a great confidant, but she's also often extremely negative and angry for weeks at a time and refuses to be consoled. That much negativity bleeds into my psyche and leaves me in a bad state. Over time, the relationship has become more distant, but I do miss our good times. Every situation is unique and presents it's own set of pros and cons. My best to you.

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  67. i have to say, i totally get how you feel and have had this sad circumstance. i believe it's because they feel inadequate - you are successful and they may feel they are not or some other insecurity is keeping them from wanting to be a part of the relationship. another thing i have grown to accept (since i have such a strong personality) is that not everyone is going to like me. but i'm okay with that because i don't like everyone i meet either - but i also don't write them off, i'm still nice. keep smiling, honey! stay your sweet self and that's all you can do! we love ya!

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  68. I think it is wonderful that you are reaching out to the people that you wish you were connected with. If they don't want to reconnect then at least you won't have regrets about what if I had contacted them. Relationships can't be forced- but you can offer an opening. I hope more of them decide to take it!

    Keep your sunny outlook!
    ~Jess

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  69. Sad about the difficulties but it's great that you are reaching out now. All the best!

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  70. Great post from the heart. But I'm sorry you're feeling so sad. I'll pass on what someone once told me when I was feeling about where you are in this post. She said each of us has our own path to follow in this life, and no matter what we say or do, it's not going to change their paths. So my best advice is do what you can do and then leave it in God's hands. You will know you've done your best. Hugs.

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  71. As hard as it can be I think with these types of thing perseverance is the key. At some point the person has to accept you won't stop trying and then they will open up. It is a hard road, but having traveled it myself I know it can bear good fruit.

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  72. Hey Morgan - as always - I love this post. You have an amazing gift with words and I love learning from you. Thank you for always finding the courage to be honest. I still want to catch up with you one of these days... :)

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