This is my first IWSG post! Thank you, Alex, for finding a way to unite so many writers together, because the truth is, no matter how strong a façade you put on, we are all linked… because we all have insecurities in one way or another...
For me, I feel pretty “put together” as a writer. I’m not starry-eyed about the whole process. I know its work. And I enjoy everything from the fresh spark of a new idea, to furiously typing out words seeing where a story goes, to piecing scenes together, to finishing a manuscript, to polishing and sending to betas, to applying beta notes and tightening up, to querying, to subs, to… yeah, not a fan of the rejection part, but the whole process is magic.
My biggest insecurity? Or fear?
Is that I’m delusional. I’m afraid any compliment I get is a lie. That people are just being nice.
I really am dedicated to mastering this craft to the best of my ability, and I want to celebrate each small success, but what if the successes aren’t successes at all? What if they’re just lies?
***Now keep in mind, rhetorical questions coming up***
Is my work too far gone for help? Is that why my betas say nice things? Are my mom and family members giving me a pat on the back just because they’re required to? Even agents, when I get a personalized rejection letter full of compliments, are they just being nice?
I choose to look at writing like I have potential, that I am having small victories, but heh, this is an IWSG post—and I’m supposed to tell you what I really feel. But I suppose it’s good to have some doubt, otherwise we’d all be walking around like we own the world.
But like EJ Wesley said in a post I read today, “At some point, my faith was stronger than my doubts. Eventually, I trusted what I knew, and quit focusing on what I didn’t. There’s a place where fear gives way to confidence. Very much like riding a bicycle with training wheels, I came to a point when that extra support wasn’t necessary, maybe still appreciated, but not needed.”
Loved that, EJ! All of his posts are great. Anyone else share my fear? Thoughts? (Just don’t tell me I’m delusional) ;) And now I’m off to go check out the other IWSG posts. They’re always fun to read.
Red. Head. Out. :D
Red. Head. Out. :D